I remember

Let me write you a story.

This is not about all the romantic joys you have given me but all the pains you brought into my naïve heart. This story lingers on the sleepless nights that you have caused me by breaking my heart and destroying my soul. This story is all about you and all the dumb shits you possess. Quite a talent, my dear!

I remember the time when you were frustrated because I didn’t show the world how lucky I am to have you. I remember that look in your face – I slapped your ego.

I remember how you wanted me to be proud that I was your girl- cloaked with your thoughts that you are the most ravishing guy whom all girls die for.

I remember how you often told me that I should be thrilled I was your choice and not the other girls around drooling for your attention.

I remember how you always dump me or making me the prettiest wall flower because you have a gig to attend to and you wanted me to scream that you’re the hottest of them all.

I remember how you cuddled me like a puppet so I would conform to everything you say and anything you wanted me to do.

I remember watching you looking at other girls showing off your cutest smile. I remember how my heart bled looking at those eyes not wanting me.

I remember how you shattered my being – telling me that I wasn’t good enough for you, that I wasn’t the one you dreamt of, that I was just an ordinary girl – lost and insecure.

I remember.

Now, I remember the moment when I finally told you to set me free. I remember you were surprised that I have the guts to leave you.

I remember that look in my face – happy and free.

Tell me, was it a surprise?

Perhaps, I will never see you cry losing me. Perhaps, I was not a great loss. 

Perhaps, I am just nothing to you.

But today, I was happy. 

For once in my life, I learned to ignore the person I loved most.