When Destiny Speaks

In one isolated corner of this world, I found myself writing about different walks of life. I write about love, friendship, heartbreaks, pain, hatred, disappointment and even about death. But even how many words and ideas I write, I still can't come up with the right words to define life. Maybe it is one of the many mysteries that I need to discover on my own, I thought.
How do I start to unveil the mystery of life enclosed with many doubts and fears? How would I discover the true meaning of life when I am trapped with a restricted world? Restricted. YES, because even how much I wanted to explore and soar by myself I could not do it - I can't dare to try even a single step.
At the time I started to ask myself this question -- " What is my destiny?"-- it never stops asking until now because at this very moment I am still caught with the same question.
I share my life with few people. Those "few" includes my family, friends, workmates and strangers I never welcomed. It sounds boring for some but I would rather stay with people who can make me special despite of my mishaps than to be with those whom I conceal my real personality.
I was never lucky to be given much of luxury. The luxury of travel and the luxury of spoiling my time. I envy those who have enjoyed much of everything in this world. The people who never hesitated to act whatever consequences they might encounter along the way. The people who were never afraid of the risks they might stumble upon making their decisions.
How could it be that my desire to do such things argue with the principle and values in life? How could it be that two good things still don't seem to fit to make things go well? How could be the desire of living life to the fullest is bombarded with the pressure of becoming responsible and mature in unexpected time? How could I enjoy and laugh my heart out with what I am doing when every time I come home I am welcomed by tears and grieves of the past?
With these questions left unanswered, I came to rest and took a pause for a few minutes. And I came up with these lines.
"I still believe in my own destiny and it is here in my own quiet world I will wait for that destiny to unfold. Maybe for now it is my destiny to write things about what I hear and see but when my destiny speaks I will listen and will push myself to walk along with it".