Hurt…Anger.Worries..Pain..Love..Loss..Longing..Disappointment...
What else do I have now?
My psyche is totally in crisis I couldn’t bear.
I cannot think right. It is crowded with too much misery.
I cannot stand still. My courage is wavered.
I’ve been thinking a lot and it gives me a hell lot of pain…here ---in the head.
I am not empty. I am brimming with too much toxic in the heart and in the mind, instead. So how could I be so poor?
It is unfathomable. It has always been.
A macabre life is not what I have in my reverie. I want to live. Where is my life?
I have loved so much. I have cared more than what I can give. I have given more than what I have.
And it’s still nothing.
(People used to dream big but when you grow up, you’ll’ realize dreaming is not always a sweet escape.
Dreaming fools an innocent and pure heart of a tot. They are taught to dream big, to create their own picture of the world they want to live in. After building its fantasy, the real world will welcome you with a BANG! Disappointment strikes in! Dreaming will bring you to perdition because the world is not good. It’s never been good.
Dreaming plus the world-----not a good pair! Forget it!)
Back to reality.
I have done well but not enough to make things accurate.
I need to do something else. Something crazy. Something wild. I need to forget the lame me.
Get that new me out of the box!
If you want to get a life, then MOVE.DAMN YOU GOLDY!
If I could just punch that fluke, I would capture it. I will never let it go!
One chance is enough to make everything all right. Just give me that one chance!
Knock off ding..
It’s just been a bad day…
