“You have to know that I will never love a man the way I loved you” (One and Only You Monday, November 16, 2009)…
I speak of these words when I was still hooked with the idea of having you for the second time. These words are uttered with sincerity and affection but can I take it back? Hhhmm..Maybe no because it’s the truth but can I change it? Definitely yes and it goes like this “You have to know that I will never love a man the way I loved you because when the time comes that my man arrives I will love him better and more than I loved you”.
Have I known that for the second time my sacrifice will be just another useless story? Have I known that you can never really fight for me? Have I known that history repeats itself?
Honestly, I was not expecting that it would happen again. I thought things will be different now but I was wrong. Did I assume too much? Did I expect too much from you?
My fantasy over you and about us was another secret of failure.
Well I have to end this endless fool’s dreams. I’m closing the door for you and from now on you will be just the man I will remember for teaching me how love can be cruel and how love can be a sweet sacrifice.
I am not hurt. I am not sad. I am not angry. This is the best ending for an unrequited love story.
Acceptance will take away the pain and the regret. YOU AND I WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER.
I used to fix my mind with you as my ideal man and I could never find someone like you who makes me nervous and shudder at the same time. And I was wrong having this idealism. I never gave myself the chance to see other people’s willingness to give themselves for me just like my willingness to give up everything for you. I would not blame myself for this stupid idealism because it’s my choice.
Now it came to a point where I will need to end this. It’s time to stop dreaming, to stop assuming, to stop waiting and to stop loving you.
I think I did not fail to show you how much you are loved. I did a good fight, didn’t I?
My story.
Your story.
Our story.
The Unrequited love story will now end here.
