It was Saturday morning when I woke up with a tear around the corner of my eyes. Half- awake, I wiped it, hoping the dream I had will not remind of me what really happened between you and me.
Yes, I can vaguely remember the scenes of that gloomy place. I can’t picture that dim face you had. I’m not sure whether you’re angry or crying. But what I cannot forget was the intense feeling I had standing in front of you. Hatred. I clenched my teeth. It happened again.
Why is your memory clearly painted in my mind? I asked myself again. How I wish it was our good memory but it was not.
In my dreams there were screams, blows, insults and tears. You were there standing, frozen. Your eyes begging forgiveness but I just turned around because I can’t. Instead, I held my hand close to my chest and uttered, “I’m sorry I cannot forget the pain easily. I cannot forget you just like that”.
Without saying a word, you left. And there was silence. Your silence hurts even more.
Your absence brought me to deep contemplation. How come you cannot offer me the loyalty of friendship? You even refused to give me the loyalty of your love. You took away both pieces, the only reasons why I still have hope.
I have forgotten you. I thought you were dead. Well I assumed you were. It’s better to accept death to be the reason of your desertion than to think that you have simply forgotten me because of her. “ OF HER” – Damn! Who is HER? No need to tell me. I wouldn’t want to know.
Enough of your haunting. Please stop besetting me. I can no longer point the difference between a dream and reality, because in both worlds you are there. Leave me alone and never come back for I want to live without being scared even when your shadow appears.
You have found your happiness, spare me my share.( Jerk! I don’t have to ask you that. I don’t owe you in the first place, I murmured.)
I clenched my teeth. It happened again.
The sun is up now, illuminating my window. I stood up. It was a dream.
