Lately my mind is preoccupied with things I WANT TO DO, I CANNOT DO and THE IMPOSSIBLE.Things that always make my head ache. This is my habit, my disease, my obsession. (mmm..how do you call someone who never stops from thinking?)
Things I WANT TO DO:
I want something great for myself so I want to be someone who can satisfy my own standard. I want to see myself choked with success so I won’t think that I am a complete loser. I want to spend my time on teaching myself the things that the scholars know so I won’t always tell myself that I am dumb and stupid. I want to be someone who is respected and feared by anyone who tries to ridicule me so that I won’t always bent my head down when ignorance is coming my way. I want something for myself that would ease my heart from ceaseless search. I want to find that “something” for myself that would make me say “I couldn’t ask for more”.
Things I CANNOT DO:
I can’t leave because I’m stuck with too much worry about my family. I can’t say no because I’m afraid to hurt others feelings. I can’t say yes because I’m afraid of its consequences. I can’t go if someone is pulling me backwards. I can’t step forward because I’m frightened of what will I see on the way. I CANNOT DO the things I WANT TO DO because it is not easy to settle things at once. It is not easy to let
go.
THE IMPOSSIBLE:
Are there any? Mmm..well these are those fantasies I created inside my mind. You know it’s not good being too imaginative sometimes, it gives you hope at first but disappoint you later on. So better not be like me. ^_^.
The impossible is something to do with YOU and ME. It sounds real yet when I pinch myself I woke up from that fantasy but I can’t keep myself from thinking about it over and over again. EXHAUSTING!
What can I possibly do with the THINGS I CANNOT DO and THE IMPOSSIBLE?
Maybe it’s time for me to decide on matters that concern me, my future, my dream, my goal and my life. I’m giving it a time limit starting today…gonna work hard but when the door opens I’m gonna take that path without regrets and backing off.
